"We Were on a break!!!"

Hi guys, so again I'm back with a rather odd one :) I have been talking to a lot of people recently about this and seen or heard a lot of people asking about it :) I have decided I am going to write my opinion on it and hopefully give advice to those caught in an emotional roller coaster because of it :) 

So, what is the term 'to take a break' about, in a relationship? Is it like a holiday, or vacation from them? Do you see other people? How long does it last? etc. ( All I think of is Ross from Friends :p) 

To be honest I can't exactly answer all of that for you, because it depends on the person you are with. All I can say is, as soon as your partner says these words to you, you run, and keep running!!

Based on conversations with people I have discovered that the person who says this is just looking for a cowardly way to tell you that they want to see other people for a while and then snap their fingers at you when they want you back. It is such an Americanized term for ending or 'pausing' a relationship. They will use terms like 'It's not you, it's me'...'I just want to focus on my studies' or 'I need to discover myself' or some crap like that. I personally think that people need to grow a pair and say what they really mean. We're not in some American High school drama!

If two people are in a long, committed relationship, it may be because of stress or issues with marriage or whatever. Sometimes the person can need a break from the other person, just to breathe for a while. After all, absence makes the heart grow stronger. But still, maybe go for a long walk or shopping or whatever hobby it is you do. If you need longer, maybe you need to reconsider this relationship, why make both of you miserable and stressed? 

When it is a relationship that has only been going on for a few weeks and one says to the other "I think we need a break!" It's basically a cowards way for saying 'sorry, I'm not really sure if I still like you' and they want to see other people without having to do the awkward breaking up. This way they can say maybe you could get back together sometime and they won't feel as bad about it as they would a break up.They may even suggest being friends with benefits if they can't get anything off anyone else. Playing you like a puppet on a string. I knew a story, where the person wanted a break, but wanted to get back with the other person,when they were older and settle down. I was thinking..."What??" Basically she wanted to keep him on hold and wait for her...?? I laugh at people that think this way, either you want someone or not. Sin è/Simple as :) If you are in this situation, get away from it as fast as possible. I guarantee as soon as you do and meet someone that is worth your time, that other person will appear straight away again trying to cause hassle :) 

I see these issues every now and then on problem pages or 'Dear Deirdre' or wherever and I feel so sorry for the person, because you think you are in this great relationship and someone says the 'b' word as soon as things get a bit rocky. It can be so upsetting and you will feel so insecure and worthless, but just remind yourself it is THEIR loss. not yours! More than likely it's just what they think is a polite way of dumping you. You will move on realize that maybe that sweet guy you sit beside in the lab everyday or that pretty girl behind the till is someone that will accept you and treat you for who you are :) And if you are someone considering taking a break, for your own sake and theirs, just end it. 

Hope this helps :) 

Feel free to comment and share your opinions :) 

Sandy.S

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