Hello everyone :) So tonight I began thinking about the month of November and what a month it has been :) As I mentioned in a recent blog I really hate this month for a personal reason. This week coming, especially, I always get a bit lonely as it was this week ten years ago I lost a cousin of mine, a beautiful 17 year old girl called Marguerite or 'Mags' as she was fondly known. I was only 11 at the time but I can remember her as though she was standing in front of me, with that smile she used to have. I can remember following her and my older sister around like a puppy, wanting to talk about boys and makeup with them, as older girls do. It was only later in life I realized what a pest I must have been :D
|She was just stunning :)|
I think every girl has an older cousin, or female figure, that she looks up to and that was Mags for me. She loved cats, the color pink, Johnny Depp and I believe there was a man from the town she lived in that we both had an interest in at some point (his name or profession I won't mention because I was picked on enough for it at the time!) I can remember at a wedding we went to she had a black flower clip in her hair, which she asked me to hold while she danced to 500 miles with a younger cousin and it was like asking me to hold the crown for the queen! Another memory I have is of another cousins (I have many :D) confirmation day where we went to Bunratty Castle. I was only small at the time and was too scared to go down in to the dungeons of the castle, so she said she's stay outside with me. She sat on the wall beside me and we talked about random things. That was the way she was. She was such a funny, lovely girl. She taught everybody how to dance to cha cha slide by dj casper at that wedding, which I still think of whenever I hear that song. Of course the song that reminds me most of her is Brown Eyed Girl, which was hers. Whenever I hear it I know it's her way of saying hello to us.
I realize that people reading this might think what sort of a depressing mood is she in? but I like to blog and decided that I would share my memories of her this week.
My family and I were supposed to go to Lanzarote that week on holidays, and locusts were plaguing the island at the time. All that worried me was whether we'd be able to go on holidays or not! Oh the innocence of it all :) In the ten years since, my nose grew more hookish like hers, we've had about 20 cats, all whom have gone to meet their maker (partly thanks to my mothers driving) bar one, which has strangely decided to stay with us ;)We managed to keep one :D Whenever I see them it's like her keeping an eye on us. I know people might think I'm crazy but I definitely believe she's around me and my family at times. I might hear her songs or see somebody that looks exactly like her on TV. When things are tough I talk to her and when things go right I'll thank her for them. I'm told I act like her in ways and look like her as well, so thank you Mags, for gifting me :p
|Literally the same nose!|
Even ten years on, I still find it hard to believe she's gone. There's still that empty seat or that lack of laughter she brought. The lovely, brown, side parted hair I was always so jealous of. I even remember in school, the kindness of a particular nun, god rest her soul now, who would remember her anniversary every year without fail and say a few prayers with me, Little things like that went a long way with me and helped me cope.
This year I'll do as I always do, attend a mass for her and be thinking of her 24/7, I just hope that she's happy and smiling down at us.
Just remember that everyone has their cross to bear and try not to judge them, you don't know what problems they might be trying to cope with.
I'm sorry for the randomness of this one :) but I felt I had to share my memories of her this week. If anyone else is feeling the loss of a loved one and needs a talk, feel free to message me :)
Thank you for reading,