As it's been a while since I have written anything, I just felt that I had to write something on what has been happening in the past few days. Just felt like I had to put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard)!
So last Friday, Friday the 13th,unlucky for some. I had been so busy trying to be positive and hopeful after a hard week. I had been to a mental health nurse and finally discovered the root of my depression and anxiety and how to treat it. I finally felt positive, could take a breather and say yes this will get better and could start to look forward to my holidays soon, Christmas and what the new year might bring. I went on boohoo looking at holiday clothes, my sister came home and we listened to old songs from years ago, recalling our memories that went with the cringe rap or pop songs. All of a sudden she told me to look up sky news online, something was after happening in Paris. I expected a natural disaster, bad car crash, anything but what I saw. The next few hours were a blur. In years to come I will probably be discussing it with my children or grandchildren when they study it in history. It's strange, you always remember exactly what you were doing when something like this happens. Along with probably the millions or billions glued to the TV watching terrified people screaming and running away, gunshots, explosions, armed guards storming around, I felt like I was watching a horror film. Not something that was happening only 1200km away.
The last few days have shed light on what exactly happened that night, though I think that the only people that will ever really know are the unfortunate that happened to be there. After the Charlie Hebdo attacks people were shocked, alarmed, frightened.That people could be so savage to kill innocent civilians, even when the attackers seemed to have a motive for their killing, insane and all as it was. But last friday? what harm could an innocent woman celebrating her birthday with a few drinks at a cafe have done? A man meeting friends for a glass of wine after a hard week of work, Friendly waitresses only doing their job, and young people enjoying a rock concert with partners and friends. They killed over 129 people, injured over 350, god knows how many grieving their dead and billions shaken and frightened. I have read so many different witness reports by now, I can't even begin to imagine the physical and mental abuse those people went through but as one survivor Isobel Bowdery said, that the people that died did not die thinking about those vultures, but of their loved ones. That and the fact that so many people acted heroically in the city after the attacks restored my faith in humanity. You always wonder if ( god forbid) you are faced with such a situation how would you react and I hope that I could act the same.
No matter how much I have researched ISIS I cannot fathom them out. They claim it is an act of religion, what kind of religion gives a man, any man the right to kill an innocent disabled person in a wheelchair watching a concert, unable to defend his or her self? Or the right to send millions of people from their homes as refugees, to seek a life elsewhere, some ending in tragedy with small children? Will we ever see an end to their madness? I thank god I am not in a war torn country like Syria and those around it engulfed in war and combat and I can't even begin to imagine it.
As well as the attack in France, there were attacks in Beirut and Lebanon and natural disasters in Mexico and Japan, in one day alone 115200 people were killed.
I suppose the point of this blog is this; last Friday's events made me treasure some of the smaller things in life, having a family to sit around with, a safe fiance, friends and family. I am so thankful for that. I am also so proud of the french people, how they have stood together in solidarity, even though they are so frightened of what could happen next. That in itself is retaliation against the vermin that tried to stamp it out. I have always loved the city of Paris, I have great memories there, from singing cheesy french songs with class mates, eyeing up french men, making it to the top of the Eiffel tower and the beautiful view, tiny hotel rooms and eating ice cream out of a paper bag to going back with my boyfriend and understanding why it is called the city of love. What has happened will never taint my view of Paris and I sincerely hope that it will strengthen the Parisians and not stop them from enjoying the life they are famous for and strengthen those against Isis.
Treasure those you love and always be thankful for every day you wake up with good health. Go out when you can, buy that dress, those shoes, go to that match, that concert, make up with that friend or sibling. Because nobody ever knows when it is their last. Live life to the fullest and don't regret anything :)
Thanks for reading :)